So, there’s been weather warnings issued and Lorenzo is on his way acting the bollocks. Although you generally spend your Thursday night in, you’re suddenly panicking at the very thought. “HOW WILL WE SURVIVE, MARY?” Chances are there’ll be trees and poles down and likely the internet with it. For the love of God, do I actually have to talk to people? Ew. So, pray tell how will you survive indeed? Well for starters, how about you avoid being that gobshite and just stay inside? Ikr wild! I’ve compiled a wee list of all the things you can do to fill your evening tonight.
1. Cook something nuts!
Bored and hungry? Same. Always. Cook up some comfort or guilt food tonight. You can get away with a lack of judgement for your choices, because to be fair if it’s crazy out there why can’t it be everywhere? Me? I’ll be replicating that time I made 40 sausage sandwiches. Red sauce, brown sauce or no sauce at all?
2. Talk to the people you live with.
Wtf, human interaction? That’s f*cked up. Use the storm as an excuse to get a wee bit trollied and have a laugh. Grab some candles and the cheapest bottle of vodka or wine from Lidl. Always a good combo. Take turns telling spooky stories and scary ones (“remember that time you-” “Shut up, shut upppp”). It is October after all. Thematic.
3. Read Something
I don’t mean being responsible and doing your college work. Although, you probably should. How about you pop into your local bookshop and picking up some Irish titles? Need a suggestion? The Aisling series by Emer McLysaght and Sarah Breen.
4. Clean Your Room
We all have a chair piled high with absolute shite. I presume nothing is living in mine. I’ll bet some of you are still putting off your spring clean. Now’s your chance. Pop on the big yellow marigolds and scrub to your hearts content. You’ll feel better for it!
5. Lose your friends by preparing glitter mail to post when the storm is over.
What upsets people most? Mess in their space that they didn’t intentionally create. Pop into Tesco on your way home, grab envelopes and glitter. Spend your evening snickering to yourself as you write hilarious notes to accompany the glitter. Post it once the weather has quite calmed the f*ck down. Enjoy the ensuing carnage.
There’s your few suggestions. The weather will Blow Over soon. I maintain I’m hilarious. Stay in, stay safe and stay cool folks!