Bus-Wankers. The Worst People You’ll Find On Public Transport 🚌

Hiya!

I hear you’ve been missing me! I’ve been off my game answering  messages on Instagram lately, but I promise I have a good excuse this time. Exam season is looming. I’m stressed to high-hell and making all the justifications in the world for the sheer amount of chocolate I’ve been snacking on. Sure it has calcium, it must be good for you.

I cannot wait for summer! It’s shaping up to be a busy one. With this in mind, River Island High Summer Press Day was on. The video below will give you an idea of what’s due in in about 2 months time. Lots of Neon seems to be the trend. Dublin will glow in the dark.

I’ve been lurking in the library quite a bit lately and that means hopping back and forth on Dublin Bus.  My Leapcard is getting a serious workout. It’s fitter than I am at this stage! Only the bourgeoisie of students drive, so I get to experience the joys of public transport. It definitely tests the limits of patience anyway. I think it was George Carlin who phrased it perfectly “I don’t have pet peeves – I have major psychotic f*cking hatreds.”  In the spirit of embracing my bus grumpiness, I thought I’d describe for you the people who irritate me the most on public transport.

1. The gobshite talking loudly on the phone.

“Can you hear me now? How about now?” They might not be able to hear you, but I certainly can. What I would give to be able to grab their phone and ram it so far up their own-

2. The 12 year old wearing too much Lynx. 

No, that’s fine, I didn’t fancy breathing today. I didn’t realise I’d have to carry an oxygen tank along with my two litres of coffee. Open all the windows and shoot glares for days.

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3.  The screaming child.

It’s not really their fault, but you can’t help but wish they’d disappear. Where’s the off button??

4. The weirdo who fancies a chat.

I literally just wanna listen to my tunes and glare out the window in peace. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is. You’ve accidentally caught their eye and you’re stuck for the next 40 minutes in traffic on a packed bus praying they’ll get off at the next stop. They never do.

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Avoiding Eye Contact

5. People who don’t thank the bus driver

I mean, who doesn’t thank the bus driver? You automatically go in the box of people who suck if you don’t do this. I’ve often been tempted to frog march them back onto the bus like a mammy with bold child and make them do it.

6. Teenagers playing crappy ‘young people’ music. Loudly.

I’m a bit of a granny for a 22 year old, aren’t I? I just really  don’t want to hear their stupid dance music played at max volume. I think this is one of those situations where you could be forgiven for hissing at strangers. Just me?

7. The students having a ridiculously loud conversation.

To be fair I’m probably guilty of this one too. Specifically with the human pictured below. (We’re in it together Kerry. If I go down, so do you.) Does this stop me being hypocritical and giving out about other people? Absolutely not. Those people are a complete nuisance to everyone around them, but that definitely excludes us. Obviously.

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8. The Tw*t that opens the window when it’s Baltic out.

It’s winter. There’s a hailstorm-snowstorm-hurricane weather-thing happening outside. Yet, there is still some complete tool that has elected to open the window directly beside them, thereby blasting the people 2 seats back with cold air rather than just taking off their fecking coat. Raging? You bet I am.

9. The people who use the bus like their personal removal van.

You know the types. What the hell is their thought process? I know I’ll hit Penneys and Ikea today. Sure it’ll all fit on the bus, at rush hour. I may as well give the multitudes of bags and flatpacks  pride of place on literally all of the surrounding seats. They mouth ‘sorry’ at you whilst you stand grumpily for your hour-long bus journey. They’re not sorry. This was planned and executed like a Bond villain. Surely it warrants jail time? Maybe a bit extreme. Just the wooden spoon?

I’m so glad I got that out of my system. Can you tell I’ve been enjoying my rush hour trips? 🙂 I spend half my life on Dublin public transport, so it’s likely I’ll run into some of you. Although you’ll never believe me after all that, I like to think I’m approachable. So, do say hi!  Unless you’re doing any of the behaviours above. I love hearing other people’s pet peeves so, send them in. I’ll need some light entertainment during my exam study breaks!

Write soon!

Kat x

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