How’s you? Enjoying Ireland’s four seasons in a day I presume! Will the weather ever make it’s mind up? Frig knows!
I’m in good form. I’m finally starting to see the light in terms of presentations and assignments. I had to submit an entire business plan as an assignment. Proper head-melter. Thank f*ck that’s over! I’ve been escaping a lot more to visit mam and dad (or more accurately the cat, not that he cares) at the weekends.
Escaping to normality once week has gotten me thinking about my student gaff and my housemates. They’re probably the best and worst people ever. I love them. So, I thought I’d share some home truths about living in a student gaff. It’ll be one of the most interesting and greatest times in your life.
In typical @PetrolRose fashion, you’re getting a list! Lucky you!
- Plates, bowls and cups will go missing.
Where do they go? Nobody knows! To be honest they’re most likely in your room, or whichever room the smell is coming from. Epitome of class. Grab some of your own delph or resign yourself to the fact that they will ghost you like a bad boyfriend and then show up randomly like they were never gone.
2. Your music taste is sh*t
Well, it’s not. Your housemates just wouldn’t appreciate good music if it hit them. You will be slagged off for anything and everything you put on. I maintain Rainbow Kitten Surprise is a cool band guys. Hip and Trendy as ever.
3. The Kitchen will always smell weird
Why is there gone off celery in the fridge 6 months after it was bought? Well, because some lunatic in the house convinced themselves they were actually going to be healthy this week. As if. They broke Monday night. Why is it still in the fridge? Perhaps because it’s more shameful to admit defeat by chucking it out.
4. Wires, Wires everywhere.
Why have you brought up your charger for your very first Blokia from home? Just in case Seán, that’s why. Legit, everyone will have pointless wires all around the house. Add to that the wires of those students who have lived in the house previously. Funnily enough though, the one you need at that exact moment always seems to go missing. Some sort of weird vortex situation definitely.
5. Your dietry habits will be loved and judged.
You will be both judged and admired in equal measure for making your way through an entire bag of dry pasta in one day. It’s just one of those days, isn’t it? Nothing more to add here. You know exactly what I mean.
6. You will inevitably forget to put the bins out.
There will be a rubbish monster in the kitchen for two weeks. You’re 90% sure there’s nothing live living in it. Probably.
7. No one will stick to watching a series together
Some unnamed knob will watch ahead. Then start the catch-up games to avoid spoilers! We tried to do this with You on Netflix recently and I’ll admit to being the little sh*t who broke and watched ahead. I’m so ashamed. Good series though. I recommend you just stick to watching films together. If you can agree on one.
8. Your Housemates will stick you in a cardboard box and carry you around the house.
Or something stupid to that effect. Sharing a house will inevitably lead to some weird and wonderful moments. Weird being the operative word. Sticking a bunch of 20-somethings in confined quarters for any period of time and something odd is bound to eventually happen.
9. You will get into an endless cycle of jump-scaring your housemates.
Someone will start it someday and it will continue until you start to round corners like 007 expecting someone to jump out and scream “Boo!” This is particularly funny if one of your housemates reaction to a jump-scare is to form a ninja stance. I’m not naming names 🙂
10. You will make the best friends of your life.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you will absolutely want to put them into an early grave, but these guys will mean so much to you. They’re there in full support for when you actually manage to eat vegetables (it counts as an achievement), all the way to you having a good cry and a laugh in the bathroom because you accidentally dyed your face orange for 3 days with a tumeric face mask. Unfortunately that one did happen. Morto. There are pictures.
Living in a student house offers up the opportunity to make some of the greatest memories of your life. It is an absolute privilege. You learn, you grow and you never quite figure out where the smell is coming from. Don’t waste time hiding in your room scrolling or watching cat videos. Get out there and irritate the sh*t out of your housemates by blaring your (great) tunes in the kitchen and inviting them to have a bit of a dance.
Brb going to do exactly that!